Attila's Requiem


When Andrew had his tonsil removed

The doctors let him eat as much orange sherbet as he wanted

so he wouldn’t cough up blood.

Mom says you went to the Hamster Hospital

even though hamsters don’t have tonsils and don’t eat orange sherbet
When I got back from camp
 you were gone

Nothing but pellets of poo littering the cage

When I left, the cedar chips were clean
smelling fresh and sharp
 with you, nuzzled in the toilet paper tube

napping?

you didn’t stir when I said goodbye
You’ve always been ungrateful

Rolling your pink hamster ball away from me

Tease!!! 
Stupid too!

So you figured out how to climb out of your cage!?

A raccoon could do that! Even a rabid one!

Only a foolish hamster would eat 8 birthday candles

but what can you expect from an animal that eats its own poo

Gluttony is a sin, Attila, 
they don’t want your kind in hamster heaven
I’ve moved on

did you expect me to wait for you?

she is lilly white, warm
her velvety ears flop over her good eye

I don’t want another hamster, Attila!
Marcus says you died cause’
I didn’t love you

was too scared to hold you

I couldn’t if I wanted

Allergies
(it wasn’t pink eye, like I told you that one time)

If you came back now
I would hold you until my eyes crusted over

until my nose dripped, like your neglected water bottle

until my lungs filled with love

When I got back from camp 
you were gone

along with a tin of Altoids, 2 pennies, half a pencil, a bottle of White Out, 

and 8 birthday candles

You have left me with nothing

nothing but a blind white rabbit, 16 birthday candles
 and an empty hamster cage


I am not mad that you ate the candles

I bought them for you

8 months old 
you were always so smart

Do they have orange sherbet in hamster heaven?

I bet you could eat it
 if you really wanted to

I don’t want another hamster, Atilla